Live Shark Rains Down on California Golf Course, Worst Golf Hazard Ever
Adding to sand traps and water hazards, one California golf course has falling sharks on their list of golfing dangers.
The Capistrano Dispatch (h/tDeadspin) reports a live shark fell on the 12th tee box at San Juan Hills Golf Course on Monday.
One doesn't usually fear sharks when playing a round, normally weary of losing golf balls in the drink or taking too many mulligans, but never sharks.
However, that's what fell from the sky as if the end of times were taking place in the beauty and grace that is a autumn day in California's seaside community of Capistrano.
At about 4 p.m. local time, an on-duty marshal found a 2-foot shark flopping around on the 12th tee. After what we presume was a minute to let out some expletives and regain his composure, he took action.
Photo Credit: The Capistrano Dispatch
The marshal picked up the shark, placed it in the back of his golf cart and drove it back to the clubhouse. There, cart attendant Bryan Stizer, a San Juan Capistrano resident, briefly placed the shark into a bucket filled with water and a bit of salt, before clocking out on his break to drive the shark out to Baby Beach in Dana Point, where it was released back into the ocean.
Yes, Bryan. You can save the shark, but please clock out first.
While I was ready to conclude this was indeed a sign of Armageddon, or that sharks somehow found a way to include themselves into the precipitation cycle, there was a more logical explanation for all this.
Director of club operations, Melissa McCormack, has a yarn of a theory.
She believes the shark was ripped from the nearby ocean by a predatory bird, as there were puncture wounds near its dorsal fin—the Pacific Ocean is about four miles from the golf course.
Perhaps some bird just decided it was full or was too weak to carry such a big lunch any longer.
While that may be, I will stay clear of any and all golf courses from here on out, not because of my horrible slice, but because of sharks.
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